“Mommy! Mom! Mom! Sarah, wah wah!” I am being pulled in so many directions. There is not enough of me to go around. I am feeling like someone is always not getting help when they need it. I am feeling guilty about this. I am feeling that I am barely getting things done like the basics. I struggle with making lunch and dinner because my baby needs me. Do not even ask me about the house cleaning. I manage to get the dishes done and the laundry usually sits for several days before I get to it.
I know I am stressed because I have my 3 year old asking me, “Mommy are you happy?” Then my 8 year old saying,” Mom I wish we would win the Powerball so Dad would not be so stressed and you could pay all the bills.” This child is smart beyond her years. I had to explain to her that there is nothing to worry about. We have more than enough to pay our bills. Also, I told her it would be awesome to win the lottery because there would be so many people we could help! The truth is my husband was born stressed, it is in his DNA. I was not born this way yet I see myself being stressed a lot lately.
It has been a hard two days. I am worn out from being in charge of 4 children. The past two days I have had failures. I screamed at my girls twice in the past two days. I am not proud of it, and do not like to admit it. It needs to be said, and I want to keep it real here. I am not perfect, far from it. I make mistakes every day, several times a day. I sin just like every other human. Being a Mom is a really tough calling sometimes – okay a lot of the time. I have been feeling pulled in so many different directions that I snapped. Tonight I yelled so loud that I scared the baby. That is so bad. I realized that I need a break and I am giving it to myself.
I have had one night where I was away from our baby and she is 4 months old already. It was not a Mommy’s night out or anything like that. I was taking my 5 year old daughter to Kindergarten Orientation. That night does not count. I decide that this week I am going to go to the movies to see War Room. I am not one for watching TV or movies really. There are many reasons for this and I will save it for another post. However, this movie I want to see. I will treat myself to some time away from the family. Time where I get to just be Sarah. Sarah hello I know you are in there somewhere.
To help me deal with my stress tonight, I took a hot bath. I used Epsom salt to literally allow the negativity and impurities out. I sat there pondering what essential oil would be my friend tonight. I decided on Roman Chamomile essential oil. It can be diffused to soothe anger and irritability. I dumped 4 drops into my bath. I slipped into it and felt my shoulders relax, my back relax, and my mind become calm. I need to reach for my friends, my essential oils more often in times like this. The certified pure oils help me with having a feeling of well being and they support healthy immune function.* (If you ever thought about trying essential oils or need more information contact me.)
I know I need to get into a better morning routine. I need to wake up before the girls, pray and/or read Bible, diffuse oils, eat breakfast, and begin my day. I need to start walking again. I was feeling wonderful when I was doing this. I need to squeeze in a 30 minute workout of some kind. If I do these things, I know I will have a more positive attitude. If I do not care for myself, how can I care for others to the best of my ability?
Tomorrow will be a better day. I will be positive and I will whisper tomorrow. Yes may tomorrow be a day of whispering and laughter!
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.